4 Things You Can Do When You Feel Other People Affecting You

They are really getting on my nerves! They keep pushing my buttons! Yuck, I can feel their energy, they are in a really bad state, its getting to me.

1. Don't resist, go with it

Remember what you resist seems to hang around, often builds up with intensity. A Tai Chi and Aikido principle. When someone attacks you or holds onto you, don't resist and try to pull away for they will have more to hold onto. If there is nothing there (you let go, go with the flow) they have nothing to work with.

2. Alter your perception

Sometimes you are in a situation where you can't change anything, you think you just have to put up with it . Yet in almost all cases there is one thing that you can change. This is the way you view what is happening. Your perception. Assuming you can't change the external world and someone is humming a chorus of a song over and over again and they can't stop it because they are unaware that they are even doing it, then what choice do you have? If you view it as annoying it will become annoying. If you find it amusing, you look for ways to see how it is amusing. If you hum along in your own head and blend in with it to make a new tune you will feel creative. By being creative you feel creative, by being annoyed you become annoyed. This is simple in theory and as you get used to using your brain in the new way it becomes easy. It is mental flexibility. Seeing things from a different perspective.

3. Stand, stretch, move

If I am attached to how things should be and then things don't go accordingly we feel uncomfortable. The more rigid we are, the easier it is for us to get bent out of shape or break. As we become rigid in our bodies (especially our spine) we become rigid in our mind and life and vice versa. Generally we live with a degree of stress in our lives, we get caught up in our self, in our own worlds (because it's safer). We think the thing on the outside needs to change. Does it, can you change it? No, but you can shift yourself from within. If your buttons are being pushed. If you hear yourself saying 'right, wrong, good , bad, better, worse, fix it' then feel your body (spine) and notice where you are holding onto tension, notice how you're holding your posture and feel how it feels rigid and slightly defensive. Stand up, Stretch, Breathe, Move it. As it frees up, you will feel better.

4. Breathe

We are more likely to be in a irritable state when we are stressed, when too much is going on. We are functioning from our sympathetic nervous system on fight or flight mode, we are more reactive and guarded. Often something that would wash over us going unnoticed, becomes much larger. This is why some people cry over split milk (it isn't the milk they are upset about). So an easy way you can put your self in a state that is more productive, to get out of the fight or flight state, is to do some slow, deep rhythmic abdominal breathing. Close your eyes and notice your stomach expanding (push it out) as you breathe in . Breathing to calm yourself down is no new idea. My hope is that you gain the awareness to know when to breathe, stretch and move when you are in a defensive state.